So...close call with baby being transverse. I had my OB appointment on Monday and baby is back to the head down position like a good little boy or girl. Thanks for all of the good thoughts and prayers. I am dilated to a 2 1/2 and 50% effaced. 38 week pic to come on Thursday...if I remember!
Have I told ya'll that this little one is going to have 3 other cousins born shortly following this ones debut? That's right! Ben's sister is expecting twin girls that should arrive within a few weeks after...if they behave. Those girls are already givin' their mom trouble! Then, Ben's brother is expecting a little boy in November. This little one will have plenty of cousins his or her age...pretty lucky, no blessed if you ask me! So will our little one even up the Altop 2011 boy/girl ratio? What do you think?
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Love Where I Work
Not only do I love where I work and what I do, but I love who I work with. It is mostly a happy place to be. When it isn't a happy outcome...it is heartbreaking and this can be hard. But, I feel privileged to work where I do and with who I do...ya'll are great! I'm so excited to have people I love and trust be the people who take care of me because I know that they will go above and beyond for me...I will admit that it might be just slightly wierd. However we've all done and seen it all in our department so I really need to get over it!
So one downfall, if I can even call it that, is to know what you know and work where I work when I'm in the condition I'm in. It's hard not to think about all of the many things that can go wrong. Aside from not feeling as well as I have with other pregnancies, things have really gone text book for this pregnancy. Wait, I think that the "discomforts" that I'm referring to are text book. I think that my other four pregnancies and not feeling these discomforts means they might have been abnormal! Anyways, the past several visits baby's head has been down and in a good position. So good that at my last appointment when checking baby's position the doc stated, "Oh yeah, that baby's head isn't going anywhere at this stage in the game." This baby has been a good little baby. The movement for this baby has been CRAZY, but one thing that's been different is that I have always felt the movement in the same areas since I started feeling movement...back when it was so small that it didn't really matter what position this baby was in. Basically it's always been in the right position or close to.
One of those discomforts that I was talking about that I'm feeling this time around is the inability to bend over. But, on Friday I was just not having it. I was bound and determined. I have a routine to keep my house clean and running smoothly and not getting behind and because of how I have felt it was very much behind. I was done with being behind. I was going to get caught up and keep it up. I have to, I'm about to add a newborn to my already overflowing plate. So, on Friday I got the kids to school, came home and got to work. There just isn't getting around having to bend over to clean up in this house with all the little toys. I tried to avoid it when I could, but I couldn't completely. I picked things up off the floor, I made beds, I pulled things in and out of the washer and dryer. Things that my husband and kids have been doing for me because of the discomfort this time. Ben came home from work that morning. I was about an hour and a half in to my plan and when he got home I filled him in. He responded, "You know I'm not going to let you do this. So, you just be the director and I'll take orders." (I know, he's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!) I let him know he wasn't going to stop me, but I did put him to work on the bathtub! (That one is definitely not going to happen for me right now) While he was workin' I was too and we were gettin' a lot done. After about a total of two and a half to three hours of this, I was done. I was achey, my back hurt and I was worried that if I continued I for sure wouldn't be able to function the next day at work. So I reluctantly listened and laid down hoping I could get through one more shift at work. I did NOT feel so well the rest of the day.
Within minutes of me laying down, something kinda startled me. I felt some baby movement in an area of my belly that I have not felt it the entire pregnancy and I was having an easier time breathing than what I had been. GREAT! I shared my fears with Ben that all of that bending over was also making baby uncomfortable so baby moved. Ben tried calming my fears with, "Everything's going to be fine! Doc said that baby isn't going to move now." I rested most of the rest of the day on Friday and I woke up feeling just okay on Saturday and went to work. It worked out well because it was an abnormally slow day. So abnormally slow that we all decided it was a good time for one of our new RN's to get some practice with me. They ran a strip on baby. I had some decent contractions for her and everything. (I've been contracting A LOT for awhile now...just nothing regular yet.) They all knew that I was worried that baby wasn't head down anymore so we decided to let our new RN get some practice checking baby position first by palpating. Then we pulled out the ultrasound machine to confirm and sure enough, baby is transverse!!! NO!!!
Needless to say, I'm very upset with myself! But, what am I to do now? Of course I'm trying everything, but there's not a whole lot of room now. Babies have been known to still turn, I just know that it is getting kinda late. I see doc tomorrow. In the mean time I'm hoping and praying that baby will still work his or her head down. Any prayers offered towards this cause are much appreciated. Who knows? Maybe baby will have already gotten back in position by my appointment tomorrow.
So one downfall, if I can even call it that, is to know what you know and work where I work when I'm in the condition I'm in. It's hard not to think about all of the many things that can go wrong. Aside from not feeling as well as I have with other pregnancies, things have really gone text book for this pregnancy. Wait, I think that the "discomforts" that I'm referring to are text book. I think that my other four pregnancies and not feeling these discomforts means they might have been abnormal! Anyways, the past several visits baby's head has been down and in a good position. So good that at my last appointment when checking baby's position the doc stated, "Oh yeah, that baby's head isn't going anywhere at this stage in the game." This baby has been a good little baby. The movement for this baby has been CRAZY, but one thing that's been different is that I have always felt the movement in the same areas since I started feeling movement...back when it was so small that it didn't really matter what position this baby was in. Basically it's always been in the right position or close to.
One of those discomforts that I was talking about that I'm feeling this time around is the inability to bend over. But, on Friday I was just not having it. I was bound and determined. I have a routine to keep my house clean and running smoothly and not getting behind and because of how I have felt it was very much behind. I was done with being behind. I was going to get caught up and keep it up. I have to, I'm about to add a newborn to my already overflowing plate. So, on Friday I got the kids to school, came home and got to work. There just isn't getting around having to bend over to clean up in this house with all the little toys. I tried to avoid it when I could, but I couldn't completely. I picked things up off the floor, I made beds, I pulled things in and out of the washer and dryer. Things that my husband and kids have been doing for me because of the discomfort this time. Ben came home from work that morning. I was about an hour and a half in to my plan and when he got home I filled him in. He responded, "You know I'm not going to let you do this. So, you just be the director and I'll take orders." (I know, he's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!) I let him know he wasn't going to stop me, but I did put him to work on the bathtub! (That one is definitely not going to happen for me right now) While he was workin' I was too and we were gettin' a lot done. After about a total of two and a half to three hours of this, I was done. I was achey, my back hurt and I was worried that if I continued I for sure wouldn't be able to function the next day at work. So I reluctantly listened and laid down hoping I could get through one more shift at work. I did NOT feel so well the rest of the day.
Within minutes of me laying down, something kinda startled me. I felt some baby movement in an area of my belly that I have not felt it the entire pregnancy and I was having an easier time breathing than what I had been. GREAT! I shared my fears with Ben that all of that bending over was also making baby uncomfortable so baby moved. Ben tried calming my fears with, "Everything's going to be fine! Doc said that baby isn't going to move now." I rested most of the rest of the day on Friday and I woke up feeling just okay on Saturday and went to work. It worked out well because it was an abnormally slow day. So abnormally slow that we all decided it was a good time for one of our new RN's to get some practice with me. They ran a strip on baby. I had some decent contractions for her and everything. (I've been contracting A LOT for awhile now...just nothing regular yet.) They all knew that I was worried that baby wasn't head down anymore so we decided to let our new RN get some practice checking baby position first by palpating. Then we pulled out the ultrasound machine to confirm and sure enough, baby is transverse!!! NO!!!
Needless to say, I'm very upset with myself! But, what am I to do now? Of course I'm trying everything, but there's not a whole lot of room now. Babies have been known to still turn, I just know that it is getting kinda late. I see doc tomorrow. In the mean time I'm hoping and praying that baby will still work his or her head down. Any prayers offered towards this cause are much appreciated. Who knows? Maybe baby will have already gotten back in position by my appointment tomorrow.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Back to school and a need to take on Pollyanna's challenge to play the Glad Game
Updates first:
The first day of school was on Wednesday, August 10th. I have 2 1/2 in school. I say 1/2 because my 3rd is in Kindergarten which is half day. So Noelle is in 3rd grade, Ethan is in 2nd and Jacob is in Kindergarten. Have I mentioned how much I love...I mean LOVE having my kids so close together in age. On one hand it has been hard to have them leave off to school one after another so quickly. On the other hand, Ethan was so good with his little brother making sure he knew where to put his back pack and when and where to line up. Ethan had friends coming to him inviting him to play with them and he would let them know that he was going to play with his brother or that he needed to help his little brother. This came totally unprompted ...completely his choice. This is so great to see because honestly he acts like he could care less about his little brother at home. As sad as I am that they are at school more than they are at home, the positives are that we got the teachers that we wanted for all of them, we are back into a routine and they all seem to be adjusting well. Here are some pics of each of them on their first day of school. Noelle was complaining that the sun was in her eyes. Sadie starts preschool the first week in September so pictures of her first day will come later.
Ben has been busy on his off days doing things for me that when I do them leaves me not able to function the next day. He's also currently training for the Tour of the White Mountains that is coming up in October. He's so good about it too. He tries to make sure it doesn't interfere with my day by waking up super early to train.
I am now 36 weeks and 1 day...officially in my 9th month! Yeah!! My doctor asked me how anxious I was to have the baby. I let him know that I actually wasn't that anxious. He was a little confused until I explained to him that the baby is so much easier to take care of inside, but that I knew I would be more comfortable with it out! He replied, "Ah, a realist." That's me, just keepin' it real. Anyways, I am really just trying to enjoy this. Trying to savor every movement. I really do love being pregnant, this one just hasn't been as smooth sailing. I still love it though. I'm amazed that my body can grow a baby. I said in an earlier post that I didn't want to get too anxious about baby coming because I didn't want to wish the summer away because I wanted to enjoy my kids being at home with me. Well, they are back to school and there is nothing I can do about that. So now I am anxious to meet you little one. I'm anxious to hold you, see what you look like and for you to be here. So, here's a pic of me from yesterday at exactly 36 weeks. This is one of the least flattering pictures of me ever, but we've gotta document the journey.
So I say that I am a simple girl and then this morning I was eating a piece of chocolate cake. (Yes, in the morning. I'm allowed, I'm pregnant. But, this is something I would do even if I wasn't. Anyone who knows me, knows this about me.) But what is strange about this is I don't care for chocolate cake (yes, you read that correctly.) Who doesn't like chocolate cake? Me. The reason is that chocolate cake rarely tastes chocolatey to me. Occasionally I will find a chocolate cake that enough chocolate has been added to it that it actually tastes like chocolate and I enjoy it. The reason I was enjoying the chocolate cake this morning is because it had been drowned in caramel and had Skor bar crushed on the top. Anyways, as I was eating this chocolate cake thinking about how I don't normally care for chocolate cake I thought to myself, "Who doesn't like chocolate cake?" I quickly thought of my step-mom. She and I share the same feelings on this topic. But, aside from her, most people want to indulge in a thick slice of chocolate cake and I started thinking that maybe I'm not as simple as I think I am...but, even if I'm not, I'm still not hard to please.
(Okay, big girl talking) What is the Lord trying to tell me? I seriously have so much in my life. Why in the world am I complaining? Despite my feelings right now, here's what I know, here's what REALLY matters:
The first day of school was on Wednesday, August 10th. I have 2 1/2 in school. I say 1/2 because my 3rd is in Kindergarten which is half day. So Noelle is in 3rd grade, Ethan is in 2nd and Jacob is in Kindergarten. Have I mentioned how much I love...I mean LOVE having my kids so close together in age. On one hand it has been hard to have them leave off to school one after another so quickly. On the other hand, Ethan was so good with his little brother making sure he knew where to put his back pack and when and where to line up. Ethan had friends coming to him inviting him to play with them and he would let them know that he was going to play with his brother or that he needed to help his little brother. This came totally unprompted ...completely his choice. This is so great to see because honestly he acts like he could care less about his little brother at home. As sad as I am that they are at school more than they are at home, the positives are that we got the teachers that we wanted for all of them, we are back into a routine and they all seem to be adjusting well. Here are some pics of each of them on their first day of school. Noelle was complaining that the sun was in her eyes. Sadie starts preschool the first week in September so pictures of her first day will come later.
Ben has been busy on his off days doing things for me that when I do them leaves me not able to function the next day. He's also currently training for the Tour of the White Mountains that is coming up in October. He's so good about it too. He tries to make sure it doesn't interfere with my day by waking up super early to train.
I am now 36 weeks and 1 day...officially in my 9th month! Yeah!! My doctor asked me how anxious I was to have the baby. I let him know that I actually wasn't that anxious. He was a little confused until I explained to him that the baby is so much easier to take care of inside, but that I knew I would be more comfortable with it out! He replied, "Ah, a realist." That's me, just keepin' it real. Anyways, I am really just trying to enjoy this. Trying to savor every movement. I really do love being pregnant, this one just hasn't been as smooth sailing. I still love it though. I'm amazed that my body can grow a baby. I said in an earlier post that I didn't want to get too anxious about baby coming because I didn't want to wish the summer away because I wanted to enjoy my kids being at home with me. Well, they are back to school and there is nothing I can do about that. So now I am anxious to meet you little one. I'm anxious to hold you, see what you look like and for you to be here. So, here's a pic of me from yesterday at exactly 36 weeks. This is one of the least flattering pictures of me ever, but we've gotta document the journey.
On to other things. Can I pout like a 2 year old for a minute? NOTHING is going my way right now! It feels like nothing has been going my way for several months now. NOTHING...personal stuff, stuff with Ben's work, etc. There are some pretty major things that I really wanted to go my way and because they didn't it feels like a really BIG deal when even the little things aren't going my way right now. I know that gestational hormones may be playing a role in how I've been feeling, but seriously I'm starting to feel invisible. Is no one hearing what I'm saying?! Is no one seeing what I'm seeing? I know, I know...it all sounds selfish. I'll be off my rant in a sec. I have literally been praying for a little boost...anything to give me a boost because the things that I think need to happen aren't happening or going to happen. There are so many things surrounding this pregnancy that I can't control and even the things that I think I can, I am not being allowed to. I'm a pretty simple girl and rarely have a request and when I do, they are not huge requests. Apparently they are though because nothing is going my way and I want to fold my arms, stomp to my room, slam the door and cry (gestational hormones talking) until something does. Don't I deserve it?! I have some major things going on and I would like one of my requests to be acknowledged by someone...someone...anyone...Bueller? (2 year old self talking) I'm starting to lose sleep over some of these things and I really can't afford that right now! Things have so not been going my way that I have really just tried not to even talk about it because I thought that I was just bringing this all on to myself. I really am a very positive, upbeat person and so I thought that maybe one negative thing and the way that I would feel was bringing the next negative thing. I hate that I'm opening myself up enough to even let anyone see this negative and don't want anyone to feel yucky reading this...the post gets better though.
So I say that I am a simple girl and then this morning I was eating a piece of chocolate cake. (Yes, in the morning. I'm allowed, I'm pregnant. But, this is something I would do even if I wasn't. Anyone who knows me, knows this about me.) But what is strange about this is I don't care for chocolate cake (yes, you read that correctly.) Who doesn't like chocolate cake? Me. The reason is that chocolate cake rarely tastes chocolatey to me. Occasionally I will find a chocolate cake that enough chocolate has been added to it that it actually tastes like chocolate and I enjoy it. The reason I was enjoying the chocolate cake this morning is because it had been drowned in caramel and had Skor bar crushed on the top. Anyways, as I was eating this chocolate cake thinking about how I don't normally care for chocolate cake I thought to myself, "Who doesn't like chocolate cake?" I quickly thought of my step-mom. She and I share the same feelings on this topic. But, aside from her, most people want to indulge in a thick slice of chocolate cake and I started thinking that maybe I'm not as simple as I think I am...but, even if I'm not, I'm still not hard to please.
(Okay, big girl talking) What is the Lord trying to tell me? I seriously have so much in my life. Why in the world am I complaining? Despite my feelings right now, here's what I know, here's what REALLY matters:
- I may long to have family close by, but atleast I have my supportive husband. I think that we have now been without family support for so long that now we just do what we have to no matter what and pull together. As much as I wish it could be different, maybe this makes our family stronger. Maybe we are setting some sort of example for our kids.
- My husband cares. The truth is that if people really knew my husband, there would be a lot of jealous women out there. Especially when they realize he puts up with ME!
- I have 4 beautiful, healthy children...and 1 on the way.
- We have our jobs and we are able to set up my schedule around his so our kids don't even have to go to day care.
- I have a home, food, water, AC when it's hot, and heat when it is cold.
- I don't just have the previously mentioned necessities, the Lord has blessed us with EXTRAS!
- My kids have the sweetest little hands that I love to feel holding mine, or when they put them on my cheeks and tell me that they love me.
- I have the gospel. I have Christ in my life.
Seriously Alison...just stop your pouting! Although I would really like to see some things go differently, there are just so many things I can't control. Even though there are things that I would like to see go differently, I know that I would not trade some of the challenges that I have with others. So, I hope that anyone reading this who's heart is aching right now will not judge me for mine. That is one of the reasons that I did not specifically mention my current complaints. I know that things could be worse and that my complaints are just that. I am NOT suffering the way some of you have. My heart has ached for so many of you who are reading this right now when you have truly suffered. I feel guilty for even complaining, but I blog for my family. So that when my kids and grandkids read one day, they will learn from me. The above list is actually quite a bit longer and even in all of this self pity that I am drowning in right now I can see that I am not even deserving of a fraction of these things. I mean really my husband puts up with me. He does more than puts up with me...he even pretends that he likes it. If he's not pretending, please don't tell him how much better he can do. The truth is, I don't need anything more and at this point would feel bad about anything being done any differently now because I would feel like it had something to do with the fit I just threw! ;) I want for things to go the way the Lord would have them go because in all reality it's probably better than any way that I would have them go. Have you every heard the song Unanswered Prayers? I have faith that things will turn out better. Okay, I'm sorry for the complaining and I'm done! The above list continues to get longer and better each day and for that I am crazy thankful!! (I stole the term crazy thankful from my amazingly beautiful cousin, Michelle)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)