"maternity leave" is something i've never had to take. i've been dreading going back to work. i love where i work and who i work with. this is just something i've never done with a new baby. i didn't know how to do it. i know it sounds silly especially since i'm an ob nurse. i teach women how to pump when they go back to work and such. it's a different story to do it yourself. i didn't want to because it's unknown territory for me and i've never done it before, so why should i now? i've never owned a bottle or had one on my shelf. yesterday was my first day back to work. i did it. my co-workers are great. never once did they make me feel guilty for pausing to have to go pump. (all guilt came entirely from within myself.) ben says that i like to feel guilty or worried because i always find something to feel guilty or worry about. i'm working on it.
when i came home from my first official day back to work, my family was happy to see me. i got a greeting from my kids that is usually reserved for dad. ben was sitting on the loveseat holding chase with all of the others sitting around him in the front room and said to the kids, "we'll see how long it takes for mom to notice." i quickly scanned each child. i begged him to please just tell me what it is that i am suppose to notice and he told me that he couldn't just tell me. i hadn't seen chase's face yet because of the way ben was holding him and as ben readjusted him i thought surely there was going to be a big goose egg on his forehead or something. i have all of the faith in the world in my husband caring for our children when i'm gone, but the last time he said, "we'll see how long it takes for mom to notice," upon coming home from work my then 5 year old had given her 3 siblings hair cuts, so i thought for sure something was wrong with one of the kids. nothing was wrong. i turned around and my new ottoman had arrived in time for thanksgiving and he had made time in his busy day home with all 5 kids to pick it up.
after all of the worrying, you know what? my kids were fine. in fact, they were better than fine. they all had a great day. dad enjoyed his time feeding the baby (something he's never done.) Noelle helped with one of the feedings and loved it too. i've been hogging the baby. i'll admit it. it's just that, like i said earlier, i've never worked after having a baby and he's just so fun and cute and he smells so good and...okay maybe i'm being a little selfish. but, he really is a slice of heaven. see for yourself.
above: october 5, 2011 (1 month old)
right: november 5, 2011 (2 months old)
below: november 7, 2011
i didn't get to post first day of preschool pics of sadie with the other kids first day of school pics because she started a month later. well guess what? i'm not going to get to post pics of her first day. keep reading. sadie is lovin' preschool. her first day was the day after i had chase. i was in the hospital for her first day so i didn't get to see her off. preschool starts at 9 am. believe me, i had expressed to those around me that i thought maybe i would try to get discharged extra early so that i could be there for her first day. those around me convinced me otherwise and i shouldn't have let them. she had a new outfit. i didn't get to do her hair. i didn't get to hear her excitement in the car on the way. i didn't get to hear her anticipation. i shouldn't have been convinced to stay in the hospital because not only did i not get to experience any of this with my sweet sadie lady, but there is not even a picture to prove that she went to her first day! i called my husband before 9 am to make sure that a picture was taken. he remembers taking the picture. he remembers struggling to have sadie hold still and look at the camera because she was so excited. he just doesn't know what camera it's on. clearly it wasn't any of our cameras because i've gone through them all. so, i have no picture to journal the day and i am sorry sadie! i want to cry. your personality and excitement is larger than life and all that i can say about your first day of preschool is that i know that you showed that personality to your preschool friends and teacher!! everyone is excited to see you when you get there. you have a preschool class of all girls and your teacher was excited to be able to do lots of fun girl things...all things i know you love.
jacob is 6! jacob, your smile has brought this family so much joy. you wanted an airplane cake. i didn't have much time to frost it and so the details are,...well let's just say that it's a good thing that i didn't have much time to do it because if i did i would have spent entirely too much time on it. you would have been happy with any ol' airplane cake, but your dad said it should be a fighter jet, so that is what you got!
jake, we are so proud of you and all you have accomplished in your 6 years. you are smart, creative, observant, curious, sweet (unless you're on time-out, then your grumpy...and even then you're still sweet. if that makes any sense. it does to me.) others must see some of these positive qualities too because you were chosen as student of the month for the month of september for your class. you chose pancakes with fruit and chocolate milk for your breakfast, macaroni and cheese with hot dogs for your lunch and you wanted to go to pizzaria venti for dinner. you chose cheese pizza. we had some of your friends over after school for lunch, treats and fun. the friends you had over are peyton, cash and jasmin. i know that this will probably embarrass you one day to mention this, but i have to just so that we remember just how you are at 6 years old. you think jasmin is pretty, which she is. you're a monkey. you climb up anything that can or shouldn't be climbed on. you like to shimmy up the door jam with your strong little hands and toes. you like green and that is why you chose green and white for your airplane cake. you have so much energy, endurance and passion. you are even passionate when throwing your fits! some days you are more than one mother can handle, but even then you are loved more and more each day. happy 6th birthday my jakey, jake!
ethan, lately you've been saying all sorts of cute things. one day you came home from school and, while playing with Chase, asked me why babies are so cute. i told you, "because they are small and most of the time small versions of big things are cute." the next day you came home and asked the same question. this time i responded with, "because Heavenly Father made them cute." The next day you asked me, "why does Heavenly Father make babies cute?" i told you that it was so when you get bigger and naughtier we can remember how cute you were and not beat you. he looked at me and i smiled at him and, when he realized i was joking, he smiled back. seriously ethan, do you not realize how cute you are? have i mentioned how cute i think it is when boys say the word cute?...especially when they are men it is seriously so cute. by the way, you were student of the month for your class for the month of november. you also lost your 3rd tooth. ellie was playing with chase, flailing his hands around like he was a boxer or something and it knocked your loose tooth right out. chase had it in his hand after he knocked it out. you thought that was pretty funny.
noelle you are a little mommy. you want to change diapers. you want to hold chase, even if he's crying. you want to babysit. you had to reach some reading goals at school and if you did you would earn a bear. well you earned your bear and you are so proud of this bear. his name is buckles. you treat the bear like a baby and like part of the family. the bear is cute and all, but there really isn't anything super special about it. buckles goes everywhere the family goes, but i have had to tell you that we leave buckles in the car so he doesn't get lost. seriously ellie, it is just a little on the annoying side. i'm letting it slide for now because i'm pretty sure that it's just a phase. i'm also letting it slide because even though i say there's nothing special about it, i know that it's special to you. i'm also seeing that you love this bear more than any of your other bears, dolls or stuffed animals because you earned it. you had to work hard for it. so as annoying as this phase is for your dad and i, we are going through it with you because you earned it and i think you might learn some lessons from this because of how hard you worked to earn this. by the way we don't tell you that this is annoying right now, but one day when you are older reading this when you have kids of your own, we will let you read this and you will understand. you were also student of the month for your class during the month of september. you also recently finished another piano book and have started on another one. your piano teacher can't believe how quickly you are flying through your books.halloween was fun at our house. thanks for loaning us some of the awesome costumes aunt becky.
ben got a promotion!! he is now an engineer. yeah! he's the hardest working firefighter, most fun dad, and best husband i know. i love this ride of life because i'm taking it with him. he treats me like a fairytale princess.
and for some other family business i need to take care of. in a previous entry, i mentioned something about some twin cousins that would join the family soon after chase's arrival. well, you girls came 2 weeks to the day after chase. it would have been good if you could have stayed in just a bit longer, but you two were just too determined. already showing some personality. i think your mom was a bit tired too. we are so glad you've come and there are 7 more people, bursting with love up in the mountains that are anxious to meet you. we can tell that you are so cute from your pictures, but we want to get to know you in person. now listen up, the point of this little blurb about you guys is to congratulate you on your arrival and to send a little hint that you're mom worked really hard to bring you two here at the same time so maybe when you two get old enough to read this you should think about giving your parents a break for like 20 minutes, mmm k? by the way, you two are going to love your cousins. you won't believe how funny they are.
we've got some other big changes for our family coming up with the new year that we are excited and nervous about all at the same time. more on that later. if you'll excuse me, i've got to get ready for the week. it's Thanksgiving and we are all very excited to eat and be with family. it's the most wonderful time of the year. i think thanksgiving is my most favorite holiday. you get to eat lots of food and be with family. it used to be my birthday, but i'm older and much more mature now ;)
